My Fitness Diary (7)

Today I went through my closet because I am endlessly frustrated that I have so little space and so few clothes in it that I actually like and wear. Even though I recently purged my closet - and you can look back on that blog entry here - I keep finding clothes hidden somewhere in the back that just don't fit me anymore.

Like these jeans.

I mean just LOOK at those jeans! I used to wear these!! At moments like this, I think - how did you ever let yourself get to that point? It makes me sad, but at the same time it's a reminder to myself to never lose track like that again.

A lot of you have asked me, "How do you stay motivated to keep eating healthy and exercising?" To be honest, it's just become part of my life by now. When I started this 180 turn-around in January, I did zero physical exercise and indulged regularly in sweets, chocolate, cake, pizza, etc. I didn't watch my portion sizes or how frequently I ate these things - all I cared about is how good it tasted.

Do I still get these cravings? Sure - and sometimes I'll have a piece of cake, or some chocolate, but nowhere near as often as I used to. In the back of my mind, I've become very aware of how much physical activity is required to burn off the amount of calories in a single slice of cake, let alone a meal at McDonalds (about 1500 calories)! So I know that if I go back to my old ways, I'll pack on the pounds again in no time.

When I got back from my New York trip - and I thoroughly enjoyed the food I had there - I had such a craving for healthy food again: spinach, lettuce, tomatoes, fresh fruit, plain yogurt and whole grains. Your body gets used to whatever you feed it - be it healthy or crappy foods - and you begin to crave it when you go without for a while. When I was in New York, I had indigestion and spent a lot of time on the bathroom, and I knew it was the food I was eating. For me, it was a joy to go back to my normal eating plan, which is focused entirely around whole foods.

On the exercise front it's my overall health that keeps me motivated. Seeing results, even small ones, are a highlight. Take chair dips for instance - when I started, I could barely do any, now I can keep going for a long time until my arms give out.

Even the fact that I can go hiking, or for a run, without getting winded immediately keeps me motivated.

One of the biggest motivators for me of course is also seeing old pictures of myself, or when I see the "big girl" clothes I used to wear. I can't tell you how amazing it feels to know that now, my "skinny" clothes are hanging in my closet, and my fat clothes are downstairs in the basement. I want to get rid of them, but some part of me has me hanging on - not in the hopes that I will fit into them again one day as it used to be, maybe as a reminder to myself, a warning not to go down that path again.

Today I bought a slinky form-fitting black cocktail dress for an event I'm invited to this month, and I nearly had tears in my eyes when I wore it in the store, and actually ventured outside the changing room to see how it looked in the full length mirror. The feeling I had when I saw my reflection was, "You did it!" I felt so confident. Half a year ago I couldn't imagine even trying on a dress like that - the clothes I purchased were more focused around hiding my size.

I totally encourage those of you who are overweight and have given up not to do so - I want you all to experience that feeling, when you've reached your goals and you see how how your hard work has paid off. I feel like I got my life, and myself back. I feel like I was just drowning underneath that weight, like a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Please let me know your own weightloss struggles and successes in the comments - I would love to hear them!